Do you feel it already?

It’s only Tuesday evening, but you are beginning to feel some of the pressure, anxiety and stress of the holiday season. And I for one have decided to not participate in that side of the season! It’s time to talk BOUNDARIES! We all know we should stick to them, but we seem to let all of that wisdom fall to the wayside when it comes to family, food and gift giving!

What is a Boundary?

According to https://www.merriam-webster.com/, a boundary is:

• something that indicates or fixes a limit or extent
• something that points out or shows a limit or end: a dividing line

Are you Sturdy in your personal Boundaries?

I am MUCH better at holding firm to my boundaries, but this is a very NEW concept for me. Growing up, personal boundaries were not emphasized as a child. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “Children should be seen and not heard.”, right? Well, that was a real thing for me growing up. While the words were not explicitly spoken, it was understood that as a child, your opinion did not matter. And if you spoke up, you were labeled rude, disrespectful and unruly. What child would want those labels or consequences!

“Focus on how others feel vs myself”

As a result of this subconscious programming, I decided that I needed to focus on how other people felt rather than how I felt. That my feelings were second to those of everyone else – especially family members.

Not feeling like a human or as though my feelings mattered: When your voice is silenced as a child, it begins to change the trajectory of your divine path. You trust that the adults in your life know best and you surrender your will to theirs – in hopes that they have your best interests in mind. But many times, those same adults who are supposed to guide and lead you towards your greater good and purpose have their own issues from childhood that has never been addressed.

“Pain, loss, lack of respect as a result – of myself or others”

As a result of all this muting, I experienced many seasons of pain, loss of the intimacy and love I craved and lack a respect – for myself and others. Without the proper direction in how to express my unique desires and needs as a child, I was unable to fully experience the joy and satisfaction of healthy relationships and communication as an adult. Does any of this sound familiar to you?

So, back to our subject: Boundaries around the Holidays!

We are entering the season of the year that can bring excitement to your days or a sense of dread and anxiety as you prepare to be with family and friends. Wherever you may be on that spectrum, I wanted to share a few suggestions that can help you maintain your boundaries while enjoying the ones you love:

MENTAL Well-Being and Boundaries

If you tense up at the thought of seeing someone or you are already rehearsing the answer to questions from that one family member, you may want to reconsider attending this gathering. The stress you are creating within your mind isn’t worth any amount of food or gifts.

PHYSICAL Well-Being and Boundaries

If you are desiring to release weight or make a major shift in the way you eat your food and move your body, it may be a good idea to come to Thanksgiving already full so you can enjoy conversations with family rather than carbs with regret later.

FINANCIAL Well-Being and Boundaries

If your family is not located nearby and you are already strapped with bills and other financial commitments, do NOT overextend yourself just so you can make someone else feel good about you being with the family or buying gifts. Unless they will pay your way, make the wise decision to stay close to home, or to set a strict limit on what you will spend. And make that decision early!

SPIRITUAL Well-Being and Boundaries

If at any moment, you feel condemned, not enough, or devalued, it’s time to leave. That is the Spirit within you nudging you and reminding you of your worthiness of love, respect and joy. And that environment is NOT the place for you.

You have the power to CHOOSE

You have the power to choose how you feel this holiday season! Enjoy a great meal with family and friends on Thanksgiving! Share a thoughtful, intentional gift with the ones you love during the holidays! And while you are engaged in those activities, remember these 2 things:

First, let your YES be YES and your NO be NO.

And finally, choose to feel good about yourself and your actions over people pleasing no matter what!

Happy Holidays!

I just experienced a March to remember…

Not only was March 2018 THE most challenging seasons I have experienced in some time, it was also the most life giving. Let me explain…

My 9-5 can be very demanding and sometimes chaotic. The building industry can be both extremely rewarding and extremely frustrating with shifting deadlines, massive indecision and creative minds collaborating complex challenges. This month, it seems that all the floodgates opened at the same time and a select few were tasked to manage the flow in a short period of time. And yes…I was one of the few (yay me!).

If you have been following me for any amount of time, you may have noticed that I cherish my peace, ease and flow in my life. Atmospheres that encourage or promote confusion, chaos and aggression are     not the norm for me. I do my best to remove myself from those situations at all costs…but, there are times when that process is out of my control for a season.

Like…when it’s your job!

So, what do you do?

I will be very transparent with you…I failed in the beginning. I allowed my emotions to wrap me up in a web of pity, blame and anger.

Feeling pressured on all sides.

Feeling like time was running out.

Feeling unsupported and unheard.

This is a RECIPE for a breakdown! And I was VERY close to the edge…

But then, I remembered my tools. I remembered that I had the power to chose peace in this very moment of anger, fear and desperation.

Yeah, I got pissed off and snapped at a few people (which is VERY rare for me!)

Guess what I did next?

I stopped, took 5 deep breaths, apologized to them (whether they were in front of me or not) and then forgave myself for surrendering my peace. I then focused on a few things in my current environment that made me smile (that’s why I encourage filling your environment with images and items that energize you). And finally, I changed the way I thought about the situation intentionally. My intention is always to freedom. I refuse to be bound by anything or anyone in life – including impending deadlines!

I had to repeat this process EVERY DAY for over 2 weeks…TWO WEEKS!!!

Now, for some of you, that’s totally ridiculous and you have already rolled your eyes at the thought. Trust me, I get it! After the second day of the repeated pressure, ignorance and lack of empathy, I was ready to quit my job – LITERALLY. But I quickly realized that my emotions were in control and not Spirit and I needed to shift. The only way I was able to recognize what was happening around me was because I trained myself through my daily, intentional actions of meditation, prayer and self check-ins. Let me say something very important…

Overcoming the challenges of everyday life cannot been accomplished ‘winging it’. Figuring out what to do WHILE you are experiencing the challenge is too late. Having a set of proven tools and strategies to guide you back onto the path of peace is essential and I am so happy and grateful I had mine established!

So, here are 3 things I learned during my March to Remember that I will leave you with:

Revelation 1: Authenticity is a part of the peace and prosperity journey

I did not want to ask for help during this season. I did not want to appear weak in the eyes of my co-workers, clients or friends. In the loving words of my powerful Life coach, “That is just foolery!” Listen, we need each other to create impact on this earth. So, that means you may need to ask for help, support or assistance…and that’s ok! I received miraculous blessings within 24 hours of asking for help! Be authentic with where you are on your journey in life and just BE!

Revelation 2: Never surrender your peace to the challenges of life

The times I felt overwhelmed by external circumstances consistently led me to react with my emotions. It doesn’t matter what you are seeing through your physical eyes…your PEACE should never be surrendered. There will always been opportunities for you to surrender your inner peace in order to REACT to the world around you. Do not surrender! You always have a choice…always!

Revelation 3: When in an atmosphere of chaos and confusion, choose to remain at peace moment by moment, day by day until peace reigns.

Before March, I use to believe I needed to take challenges “day by day”. Well, this month taught me that ‘moment by moment’ is the only way to remain at peace. With each step of my day, I chose to ‘breathe deep and just BE’. With each frustrating conversation, I decided not to respond in anger and just breathed. These decisions happened constantly within a 10-minute window and I realized something major – if I wanted to win the day, I need to regain control of my MOMENTS!

Have you ever experienced a ‘March to Remember” in your life? I would LOVE to hear how you regained control of your moments and secured your peace.

Until next time,

Peace and Love to you all!

Do You have “The Look”?

Do you remember the song, “You got the Look” by Prince? It’s all centered around the interaction of a man and woman focused on outer appearance (check it out on YouTube when you get a chance.) This video was an over the top expression of this surface interaction and the expectations associated with it, but, many of us today are living this way and we may not even be aware of it!

The ‘Look” can be described in many ways, but I want to offer the following descriptions:

• Surface evidence (not sustainable)
• Acceptable and understood by the majority
• Weak; will crumble under pressure
• False peace

The “Lifestyle” can be described as:

• Built by DAILY, intentional actions
• Misunderstood by the majority – “too much work”
• Strong; will flourish under pressure
• True peace

How to Get Over the Look and Live the Lifestyle

So, there are definite steps to take in order to get over the LOOK and live the LIFE. These steps may feel uncomfortable at first, but once you learn the value of self-reflection, this process will become a blessing! Let’s get started! The first 4 steps are questions for you to explore:

1. “What do I believe?” – Ask yourself this question in front of a blank journal page. Begin writing down your belief statements. Many times, you will notice how negative and limiting your beliefs really are. But since you are unaware of them, you continue to operate under its influence.
2. “Who taught me this belief? – This is NOT a blame exercise. You are acknowledging the origin of a specific belief. If mom taught you that ‘Money is hard to earn!’, write that down.
3. “What do I believe about these beliefs?” – This question may seem obvious, but it’s really not! Do you know how frequently we live out beliefs we don’t truly believe in – it’s just HABIT! Here’s an example: “Go to college to get your degree and secure a steady job” may not be your belief, but you do it because everyone else does! You don’t believe in it, but you do it anyway…
4. “Does this belief create anxiety in my life or does it foster peace?” – Being the best dressed woman in the room so that you can feel valuable, worthy and relevant is not a peaceful thought. That is fear-based thought! Peace exudes love, patience and ease. So, if you enjoy fashion, do it for the sheer enjoyment you receive from the feel of the fabric on your skin and the confidence your stilettos provide you while walking down the street. These types of thoughts seek to elevate you while never belittling another – see the difference?

So now, let’s SHIFT!

Step number 5 is SHIFT! The questions asked above will begin to reveal the true motivation behind you daily actions. These old beliefs need to be shifted AND elevated in order to live the LIFE of peace you desire each day.

You need to see your beliefs through the lens of possibility! For example:

• “Money is hard to earn!” is a limited belief.
• “Money is abundant and I have access to all I need to be of service to this world!” is a shifted/elevated belief .

Now, you try it! Walk through the steps provided above and leave me a comment on your shift!

Until next time,

Peace and Blessings!

Reflections and Lessons from Asia

Our words are POWERFUL and will create the very things spoken – whether you are intentional or not! I had the experience of a lifetime while visiting Asia this August. The way this trip manifested itself was quite divine and I did not fully realize it until I was in Japan!

Earlier this year, I made the declaration that I would travel outside of the United States (where I currently reside) for a few weeks without having to pay for it! I had NO idea HOW it would happen, but I was not concerned about that. I just knew it would happen…and it did! I was offered the opportunity to travel to Japan and Bangkok for 2 weeks for work and even before I took off, I knew my life would never be the same.

The culture, language, food and sights all elevated my mind to the amazing possibilities that await me if I only believed they were possible. I felt like I was experiencing my own version of Eat, Pray, Love! And in some ways, I did. What I learned about God, myself and humanity as a whole changed me deeply. There was no one situation that impacted me most. The totality of the experience is what shifted me forever.

Have you ever experienced that? Being in a certain place, at a certain time, at a certain season in your life? It’s like a hidden door you never knew existing in your own home…and once opened, changes your entire perspective. Well, that is what happened to me and I landed in the US a different person because of 5 reflections and lessons from Asia. I shared my insights in my private FB group, Space to BE and I want to share some of it with you as well:

Embrace discomfort and learn from it

Honor the humanity in ALL people

Being physically alone in a foreign land is only scary if you believe you are alone

Ask for what you want, believe you will receive it AND remember you asked for it!

Trust God’s Divine flow in the Unexpected events of life

(I decided to create a blog series from these reflections and lessons because each one carries it own jewels and deserves its own stage. Look forward to 4 more blog posts within the coming weeks! ?)

Embrace discomfort and learn from it

Being in a foreign land of an unknown language can be pretty uncomfortable. It was a bit challenging navigating conversations and dinners when I was unaware of how to communicate my needs. Let’s add the time difference between myself and everyone I knew. And while we are at it, I am a natural haired woman traveling to a hot, humid climate! Can we say uncomfortable?!

But despite all of those apparent barriers to my peace and ease, I made a conscious decision to SHIFT.

I shifted my THOUGHTS

I shifted my BELIEFS

I shifted my ACTIONS

And I shifted them all with intention.

I refused to be caught up in a wave of fear, loneliness and separation.

I decided to find the good in every situation and extract a lesson that elevated my life. For example, the language barrier led me to utilize technology and slow down long enough to seek guidance on what to say and do. Google Translate is a life-safer – Literally! I have a severe tomato allergy so learning, ‘tomato nashi’ was KEY!!  So this apparent barrier created a new found appreciation for the languages of another culture and all the beauty found it in!

Next week, I will share my reflections and lessons on Honoring the humanity in all people – no matter how difficult they may be!

Until next time, peace and blessings to you!

Surrender is not weak.

Surrender is not passive.

Surrender takes strength.

Surrender takes intentional action.

Surrender takes courage.

Surrender requires trust in the unseen momentum of your Highest good.

Surrender your desires to God, but NEVER surrender your peace to man. 

You will hear this echoed in every message I share with the world – Your Peace is a Choice and NEVER surrender your Peace! But, you should surrender TO peace. What does that mean?

When you are scrolling through your feed and come across sentiments that spew hate towards another, surrender TO peace: choose to allow those words to pass by you rather than internalizing them and starting a debate.

When you are disappointed by the actions of a loved one yet again, surrender TO peace: recognize that everyone is on their own path of self-discovery and awareness and you must give them grace as they travel. Remember…you were once given grace as well!

I feel so strongly about this because the circumstances inundating our lives today will attempt to convince you that a life of peace is impossible and chaos is to be embraced and expected.

I don’t believe that at all…

Every person on this planet is making choices moment by moment…

choices to love.

choices to hate.

choices to ignore others.

choices to embrace others.

choices to be happy.

choices to blame others for your unhappiness.

choices…

They are in every thought, every look, every consideration…

And no one has the power to believe and take action on these choices except YOU.

So, choose PEACE!

Shift Your Focus…Use your Tools!

Life can be stressful…especially these days! We are so inundated with news reports, articles, tweets and IG posts that encourage us to focus on what’s happening right now in our world and in our daily life. To deal with the reality of the situation.

But what if reality is killing you? I’m not being dramatic here…

Listening to words of fear and hate kill the love that was designed into your DNA by God.

Watching images of death, pain and lack kill the joy and peace within you.

I know that I am an empathetic being that can quickly feel the emotions of others – both good and bad. So, I understand what is needed for me to maintain a life of peace, joy and love.

Shifting my focus has been an essential tool in doing so. It is a tool I use to disconnect from ‘reality’ when it is killing the goodness from my moments. I have the power to choose this mental and physical shift – and so do you!

Shifting from images of what I don’t want to visions of what I do want.

Shifting from feelings of sadness, abandonment and pain to memories of love, joy and peace.

I am trained in the area of architecture and design. I went to college for it and I’ve worked in the industry for over 18 years. During that time, I picked up some tools along the way to help me be productive and successful in this specific area. Without them, I could not function!

The same principle relates to your WELLNESS! You cannot ‘wing’ your wellness! Intentionally and purposefully GATHER the tools you need to BUILD the life you desire! My Wellness Toolkit was created JUST for this reason!

One thing I realized very early in my wellness journey was that unless I had resources, or TOOLS, to support my daily walk, I would not be successful! The books I read, the audios I listened to, the words I spoke and the essential oils I used were my tools to remain COMMITTED on my journey to wellness. This is the motivation behind my product, The Wellness Toolkit! It is an attractive reminder to hold your wellness as sacred and take daily intentional steps towards it.

This is a perfect first step on your journey to create a daily practice of self-care, prayer and meditation.

I always tell my friends, family and clients – start your day telling YOURSELF who you are before the world has the chance to!

So, what’s in YOUR toolkit? Do you have a daily practice now? Are you interested in starting one?

Wherever you are on the spectrum, today is the reminder you need to continue or get started!

What is a workspace?

A workspace is simply defined as a place in which to work. And with that simple definition, we can clear away the excess in our atmosphere to be more effective as we create and work. In this new normal of remote working and virtual meetings, our virtual workspace becomes very important. But, how do we do it?

How do we adjust from working face-to-face with our coworkers and clients to now connecting via a small scene or phone call?

For some people, it’s really a seamless process because they are comfortable with technology and familiar with social media platforms for interacting with others. I’m one of those people! But there is a large number of people who are not tech savvy nor are they aware of the ways of the virtual world.

Mompreneur, you need to do 2 things right now:

• Decide where you fall in that spectrum
• Begin to Elevate your inner and outer online presence

I want to share some simple practical tips you can begin TODAY to elevate your outer online presence. Towards the end of this blog, we will discuss the inner presence and how to elevate from within when the word is chaotic.

Let’s begin!

Tip #1: Lighting

Mompreneur, My first tip for Virtual meetings and conferences is – LIGHTING!

In front of you ALWAYS, never behind! Look at how much of a difference the location of the light source makes!!

Level up your light game!😂

Tip #2: Camera Level

Camera placement matters!

Some of us are sending a message we don’t want to send! And today, I wanted to share a quick tip that will change the game.

NEVER look down into your camera when facilitating a meeting or call. It makes you look physically bigger than you are and it can be intimidating for some.

ALWAYS keep the camera level with your NOSE. Bringing the lens up changes the entire look and impact of your message.

Try it for yourself!

Tip #3: Seating

Depending on how long your conference or meeting will take, use seating that helps you feel supported. A cushioned seat with back support is an excellent option, but if you do not have this available, select a location that you can comfortably sit for at least 30 minutes without a lot of distraction and fidgeting. Also, do your best not to swing back and forth during your meetings – that can be very distracting when it’s not intentional.  

Tip #4: Worksurface

When you are logging into your meeting or conference, make sure that your workspace is CLEAR of unnecessary items and RELEVANT to the specific meeting.

If you know you will be taking notes, have a notebook, pen or your laptop ready with enough space to function. 

If you will need room to read from a book, have that area clear of items not required for your session.

Sometimes, we keep items around us that we MAY need while working (stapler, pens, extra notebooks, etc.)

To avoid accidental falls, noises and shuffling, just remove these items during your meeting or conference and put them back afterwards!

A clear desk space helps with clearing your thoughts too!

If you haven’t downloaded your free Checklist, head over to my bio for the full list!

Tip #5: Décor

Here’s another tip – Background Matters!

For professional and corporate meetings and conferences, please PLEASE do not set up your camera with a bed showing in the background!

That is not the message you want to convey. A bedroom is a space of rest and sex! Not business!😂

So, unless that IS your profession, find a place that has organized artwork, a bookshelf or even a blank wall.

It’s all about presentation and decreasing distraction!

Tip #6: Sound

I know you’re home with family, kids and pets…finding a quiet place to meet or talk can be a challenge. Help your family give you space by letting them know the times for your meetings and designating a space in the home for your workspace. In addition to sound originating IN your home, you need to consider he sounds OUTSIDE your home as well. Do you live near a busy road? Are kids playing outside? Is there construction happening? Will the landscapers visit conflict with your scheduled call. All of these circumstances need to be planned for and planned around prior to your meeting. By doing so, you will greatly diminish the opportunity of you to become frustrated and distracted during your workday.

Designing for Inner Peace

Now that you have the practical tips covered for your outer online presence, let’s dive into your inner presence – your mindset and thoughts.

For many, this shift to virtual working and connecting is hard – just plain hard! When you gain energy from being around other people, this quarantine lifestyle can cause depression and anxiety. And when it comes to working remotely, it can be even harder! Not only are you not physically connected to people, but your home –  your safe place away from the outside world – has now become your office!

Lots of dramatic changes indeed!

Is inner peace even possible while managing this worldwide pandemic, family and working from home?

YES IT IS!

Tip #1: Decide that YOU deserve this!

My heart and passion is for Mompreneurs – mothers who are building a lasting legacy through entrepreneurship. What I know most about these ladies – including myself – is that we do not take enough time to love and care for ourselves. We hold up our children, family and business above ourselves in this false sense of duty, but really ladies, we are not serving them well if we are depleted.

Decided that YOU deserve to take intentional time for yourself to replenish, reconnect and refocus on WHO you are, WHY you are and WHOSE you are.

Tip #2: Create Space for Peace!

It’s very challenging to experience inner peace when you are surrounded by outer chaos. Create a set aside space just for you to sit, pray, meditate, read or just be silent for 5 minutes each day. Give your mind an intentional break from the concerns of the world around you. I have several examples of this on my website and social media pages! Learn more here: http://atmospheresofwellness.com/sacred-wellness-spaces/

You now have a sturdy foundation upon which to create a peaceful, productive and beautiful Virtual Workspace! I look forward to hearing how you implemented these tips and how it’s helping you, so please, tag me on social media (@atmospheresofwellness) with your virtual workspaces and wellness spaces!

This is our new normal…let’s be prepared, prosperous and PEACEFUL!